If you're like me, you'll ask "what IS that?" when looking at the IKEA Bistro menu.
|IKEA Bistro Menu (compared to one in the United States)|
Here's how to build one:
1. Order your hot dog. Don't try to speak Danish, or you'll end up with two number fives and wonder why a Twix bar was tossed at you and cups and cones stacked in front of you.
|I match my shoes with my favorite condiment.|
2. Approach the condiment counter stocked with copious amounts of ketchup, brown (this is important later) mustard, and mayonnaise. That is it. Danes don't like variety and therefore will not eat foods that encourage such.. or maybe we should blame the French.
3. Ketchup. In the bun.
|Different angle for the action shot.|
4. Now for some BROWN mustard.
|It's either brown mustard or no mustard.|
Now here's the most important step.
5. Hot dog. In bun. Don't worry, the ketchup and mustard aren't going anywhere. Yet.
6. NOT PICTURED...GET NAPKINS!!!
There you have it, a perfectly-built Fransk hot dog.
|The people behind me meant business and got the bistro menu. No joking around here.|
There are two flaws in the Fransk hot dog:
1. They don't allow for many toppings. No dill pickle, sport peppers, onions, tomato or relish. You're options are three in number, and one of them is (very unfortunately) mayonnaise. Accept it.
2. Everything is just dandy, until you get to the bottom. If you were wondering why the ketcup and mustard never surfaced in step 5, you'll find out now. Your hands are covered in ketchup and mustard. The hot dog pushed it all to the bottom, and you really thought you needed all that ketchup and mustard. Shoulda gotten napkins.
More hot dog tales...
My greatest disappointment while in Denmark came with the discovery that plain, yellow mustard is unattainable. There is yellower than brown mustard, but it has sugar in it. There is a time and place for sugar, and mustard (both a time and a place) is not it. I had nearly given up all hope with every mustard quest leaving me defeated until yesterday. My friend and I walked into 7-Eleven, and as we were paying I noticed a bottle of French's Classic Yellow Mustard on the counter. My excitement was probably (certainly) like none the employee had ever seen over yellow mustard. Amused by my excitement, he told me they were starting this new American hot dog menu. After I explained that I couldn't find it anywhere, h rang up the mustard and told me it could be mine for the worth-every-penny price of 40kr (almost $7.00). I'm going back to buy some.
|7-Eleven's magical new American-style hot dog menu.|
|Kind of hard to read, but I didn't want to remove the fruit basket (strategically placed?) in front of the menu to get a good picture. San Diego Style?? America! New York, Chicago.....San Diego?|
In the meantime, I will enjoy my less-mobile, more-messy-all-the-time, American hot dog topped with YELLOW MUSTARD.
|New York Style hot dog.|